Ach ya fagga heebin Meestarrash fuggah shatonatortoise, ye knows?


(Meanwhile, somewhere round the back of Lima Gate at the Reading Festival, several of the Specalised Security Glaswegians are spotted shrieking in fear and wonder at a black obelisk that has suddenly appeared)

Spooky

Sorry to mess with you, but technically it's a monolith...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monolith_(Space_Odyssey)

And check dis...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P95NWAHWLrc

I'll kill myself now.

If you ever need a translator to decipher what they are saying, I am more than willing to offer my services free of charge. I've had eleven years experience of understanding the lingo!

Love and peace

Adam

At Reading 2007 I spotted an oxfam steward actually having to translate between a confused carfull of non-Glaswegians, and an increasingly angry specialised guy who thought they were taking the mick by apparently not understanding him. Looked like violence would have occurred were it not for the multi-lingual steward!

apart from the F' word and the odd other word i could hardly understand them especially when they were angry at some drunk festival goers

very friendly and informal otherwise

specialised ruled! i was started on by a security guard from another firm, for "looking at him wrong" and the specialised bloke was more than happy to stick up for his oxfam buddies. i think he really scared this nasty man.

i must agree they were a tad informal, but i think it was this attitude that actually got them to work well with people. the security elsewhere on the site were much more formal and sounded like delta force when they spoke to you, and i think this method intimidated people unduly.

highlight of the weekend was a specialised security man saying to a guy trying to get through a fire gate:

"where yer fork yeeou gawing?"

and the punter taking it as

"where your fork you goon?"

and replying with

"they didn't have any left so im having to use my fingers"

hahahaha

I have to be honest, I worked alongside a lot of them in the Arena and Reading, and this year they were all generally much more relaxed and decent people - shocking difference compared to last year.

Or maybe it's just that I had really low expectations of them...

I had a couple of tame security guards at Reading this year. One gave me a hug every time I went through his gate. Ah. What a sweetie. still couldn't undersand what he was saying though.

ive had to do a fair bit of translation like this.... i never knew that having a scotish father who likes a drink or two would pay linguistical dividends...

As a long term Reading attendee, I've found this loads of time - Specialised are lovely, the other guys are tw*ts. The worst were Triangle last year - strutting around in their combats and wrap around glasses pretending they were hard.

CF

Lookin forward to hearin the dulcit tones of these gents again next week! I'll always remember how one of the lads translated it when I informed him a portaloo was being stolen and wheeled away by a trader when the arena was closed... "Oi, Barry, some c**t's wheelin a f***in shi**er, come wimee!".... you have to love them!